my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
