He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
