you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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