I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
