I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
