I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
foreskin is a definite game changer
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
