Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
