I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
