I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
