I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
