somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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