your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
