My room smells like vodka and shame
i permit you to call me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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