He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
