My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
