I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
