eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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