Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
