it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize
