So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
me + whiskey = a bad person
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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