Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
