It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
