How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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