i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It was confusing and full of hummus
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
