I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
