Moan for me like Helen Keller
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
