so explain again why im purple
no
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
