Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
