think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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