He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
