rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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