it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
So apparently I’m into choking now
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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