Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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