she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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