Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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