why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
