i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
