Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
