Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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