we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He passed out mid-signature
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
