i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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