my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
