WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
