I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize