Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
