Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
