I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
