the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
