I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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