he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
