He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
