I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
