So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
