thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He did a backflip because drugs
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
