So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
