Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
