i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
