BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
