ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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